It is New Year's Day morning, year 2000. I've been on my writing sabbatical in St. Vincent for two months - have lived through Lennie and am waiting now to see if the electronic world has collapsed as predicted. In the predawn world I discover that my computer still runs, and my cottage has electricity. I see by the lights sparkling outside that the island does, too.
The luscious yellow pineapple lays in juicy irregular hunks on my cutting board. My first food of the new millennium. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and indulge in my first taste of the year 2000. . . and the first pineapple I've had in over a decade. For Christmas, I'd had fresh tomatoes, another delicacy of landmark proportions. For years my stress level had turned every bite of acidic food into painful mouth sores. I simply didn't eat citrus or tomatoes and had given up drinking OJ. But when the ripe red tomatoes were placed in front of me on Christmas Day, I know I could eat them. Something in my body had changed.
By the time I was ready to leave St. Vincent after only three months, my body was telling me that this lifestyle and this climate were very healthy for me. Several minor physical complaints had healed without my focusing on them. Was it 'simply' the clean air, fresh local food, the tranquil environment, and the opportunity to do my writing? Nothing else had changed. I'd been able to be very productive, more than completing my writing goal. I'd fallen in love with the Caribbean and the 'Trades' that blew through my cottage day and night. But the joy of eating fresh tomatoes and pineapple was the piéce de résistance.
The message from my body to my brain was loud and clear: If all this is so good for you, why are you leaving it to go back to a lifestyle that isn't? Why just give this to yourself three months every decade, or maybe two weeks a year?
I did some out-of-the-box thinking, and realized I could run my company from the Caribbean as well as from Boulder. Thanks to the wonders of telecommuting, I could live and work in the Caribbean. And I began the chain of events that would result in just that after a very full year of planning, work and trust.
During that year of transition from Boulder to the Caribbean, I faced the reality that running my company was a major source of stress. Did I want to go through all the trouble of a move just to carry that stress to a prettier place? I felt like I'd been an overachiever since fourth grade. Did I have the courage to walk away from my CEO/lawyer identity to become a writer? Did I have enough faith in myself to face the financial risk of no income for an unknown extended period of time? And, scariest of all, would anyone want to read my writing if I gave it all up and opted for the life of a writer?
I accepted the reality of what I knew in my heart: I was complete with my life in Boulder. My beautiful home on Ithaca Drive still echoed the absence of Frank. The company he founded which was a crowning glory in his life was not prospering under my leadership. My mother had died shortly after Frank. My daughter and Frank's children had long been adults and on their own. My ties to the US and my sisters could be nurtured from the Caribbean. There was nothing other than inertia holding me back . . . and of course, fear of the unknown.
So I set out to manifest my next home. I began my list of what I wanted (á là Norma):
What I Want in My Next Home
1. Constant Caribbean Trade Winds
2. Near, but not on, the water with a sandy swimming beach within 5 minute walk
3. On a small hill overlooking the water with views of green and trees
4. Small home (maximum of 1500 square feet) with 2 to 3 bedrooms
5. Open architecture with cathedral ceilings so breeze flows through the house; tile floors and tile roof (Spanish/Mediterranean style)
6. Yard with flowering bushes and fruit trees
7. Sense of peace and solitude. If I have neighbors, they're quiet and hidden from view.
8. Within my price range
9. New construction (within 5 years)
10. Within ten minutes from grocery store, bank, gas station, etc.
11. Within 1 ½ hours of a major airport
I spent hours on the web researching Caribbean Islands and Central America's Caribbean coast. I found that many of the islands made land ownership for gringos difficult. It was either legally too complex, politically too risky or financially exorbitant -- inflated by cute little things like a 'mandatory new resident's license' of $50,000.
I added to my list:
12. Full legal ownership is easily available and guaranteed;
For my taste, Belize's coastline was too flat. Costa Rica's Caribbean shoreline is all marshes and the trade winds don't blow on the Pacific side. Check off Belize and Costa Rica.
On the web I found a home for sale that seemed to fit all my criteria. It was in Dominica, a small mountainous island of rainforests in the central Caribbean. I flew to Dominica with a friend, and we explored the house and the island. I remember taking off from Dominica to return to Boulder. The noise of the propellers drowned out my sobs. I was terrified by the thought of moving to Dominica. Too many things didn't fit. But I was one month away from putting my home on the market and was already training the company's new leader. I felt hemmed in by my own momentum. When we landed in Martinique, my friend took me by the shoulders and said "Look, you don't have to move to Dominica. Give yourself permission to keep looking. You'll find what you want." By the time we got back to Boulder, my panic had subsided.
Dominica had clarified some basic requirements I'd left out. My self discoveries were an embarrassment. I considered myself to have a simple, non-materialistic lifestyle. Had this been true, Dominica would probably have appealed to me. But I had to swallow my pride and admit that I was indeed a jaded American. And my list grew longer.
13. At least 3 excellent restaurants (with fresh vegetables and dark green salads) within 20 minutes;
14. At least one K Mart / Target type store within 30 minutes (Ah, yes, Consumer's Anonymous!);
15. Marked highways with shoulders, free of potholes that I'll enjoy driving on;
16. Easily available technology and expertise to support my internet and computer systems;
17. A large island (over 70 miles long) with fields and meadows where I'll feel a sense of open space. (I had felt claustrophobic in Dominica's totally mountainous smallness.)
I had realized how critical it is to my happiness to have excellent restaurants, discount stores, good highways and quality technological support. And I'd discovered another basic need: friends of the heart. I have known that I am a person who is nurtured by a quiet life. But in Dominica's frontier-like geography, I realized that close friends would be 1 to 2 hours away over torturous mountain roads. So, the list grew:
18. Within 15 minutes, at least 3 good women friends and 2 good spiritual friends.
In several of the places I'd been in the Caribbean, I'd felt the friction of the cultural/racial/social class differences between the expats (Americans living abroad) and the locals. There were places where for very good reasons the locals felt bitter. Underneath a thin layer of politeness, they either barely concealed their resentment or were outright hostile. A lot of the expats lived with big dogs, behind walls, or in gated communities, sometimes with the wealthy locals.
I wanted a community where I could feel comfortable and enhanced with the cultural differences, not depressed or threatened by them. One crusty pioneer in a rural area had told me, "Of course, you'll have to carry your cutlass (machete) and know how to use it. They have to know that you'll use it. I've bloodied more than one of them for coming at me." She offered to teach me the cutlass. Hmmmm... Another point of clarification:
19. I want a comfortable and cooperative spirit between myself and the local people -- a sense of mutual respect and gratitude for each other.
And finally, being a systems thinker, I asked myself, "What's the one description that encompasses it all?"
20. I want a home and environment that nurtures me, where I am productive, delighted, increasingly free of stress, healthy and excited about life.
Somewhere along the way, I'd made a sketch of my ideal home. I wanted every room to have a view of the ocean, so it ended up being a semi-circle.
List in hand, and with clarified intent, I went back to my drawing board, the internet. I found the US Virgins, the BVI (British Virgins) and Puerto Rico. The BVI and the USVI all looked pretty small, so I focused on Puerto Rico.
All I knew of Puerto Rico came from West Side Story. I set aside the prejudices that came to mind when I heard "Puerto Rican", and delved into a study of what was the front runner for my new home. I found that Puerto Rico has the highest per capita income of the Caribbean islands. This translated for me into a large middle and upper class of locals, less abject poverty and therefore less division between the Haves and Have-nots. Colonized by the Spanish over 500 years ago, their western civilization pre-dated that of the US. Now, as a US territory, they used the dollar, had the rights of US citizens, and land ownership was as straightforward as in the States. It was big enough (110 miles by 40 miles) and had gentle coastlines. Even a rainforest! And it had two central mountain ranges. (Well, they called them mountains. But at 1,000 meters or 3,000 feet, no self-respecting Coloradoan would call them anything other than big foothills.) English was taught in school, though Spanish was predominant. Lots of good beaches, a benign coast (no sharks, etc.), and a climate between 75 and 95 year-round. True, there was an occasional hurricane, but always with days of advance notice.
One of my teachers had warned me against looking for Paradise. "No place in the world is perfect. Every place has its blemishes. And wherever you go, you take yourself (and your issues) with you." So, it was a matter of deciding whether the blemishes of Puerto Rico were ones that I and my issues could live with.
Because the island was so big, I had to decide where to start looking for my home. By process of elimination, I decided on the northwest part of the island. I settled on the area between two towns with the exotic names of Arecibo and Mayagüez to begin my quest. I made reservations to spend two weeks in Puerto Rico to confirm that it would be my next home, and to find my house.
After landing in San Juan and driving all afternoon, I got to my guest house in the dark. I liked what I'd experienced on the way: friendly people, lush green mountains, spectacular ocean vistas.
The next morning at first light I ran out to the beach and into the water - briefly. I was immediately drug down by the 'undertoad' (as Frank called it.) Sputtering sand and amazement, I struggled to the shore and absorbed my first Island Girl lesson: a surfing beach doth not a swimming beach make!
Swimming out for the day, I set out to find the Puerto Rican realtor that my sister had connected me with. I was hopelessly lost for hours despite detailed maps and an advanced degree in map-reading. Puerto Rico had wasted no money on highway signs, and my very basic Spanish wasn't helping. The glow was beginning to wear off the island.
I found myself at a payphone outside a very seedy bar. Definitely one of the blemishes. The phone wouldn't accept my coins or my credit card, and the recorded messages were all in Spanish. Nothing was working for me. I was grimy and sweaty. The sun was glaring down on me, sand flies were feasting on my legs and the stench of urine was suffocating. I was alone and lost. I didn't know a soul and didn't speak the language. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and depressed. All my demons surfaced and attacked. Was this just another wild dream taking me to the Moscow of the Caribbean? I felt like crying.
After what seemed like hours, I managed to get connected to my sister's office in Boulder. I prayed she'd be there. When I heard Jan's voice on the phone, I did cry. I felt like a drowning person whose hand has just been clasped with a firm grip from above.
With Jan's help, I did find my Puerto Rican realtor that day. But she left for her annual trip to France two days later, so I continued with another realtor, and on my own. I told everyone I met what kind of house I was looking for. Three people within two days told me, "You've got to go see Becky's house."
Indeed, Becky's house was the one. It was a wooden two-story dodecagon - a 12 sided 'round' house. The main living area was on the second floor. I walked up a set of wooden steps that curved around the outside of the house and stepped into a screened lanai with a breath-taking view of the Caribbean only 100 yards away. I stood in the treetops - looking out through a canopy of leaves. Two huge guardian trees stood, one on each side of the house. A Mahogany tree on the right and an Almond on the left. I could see only trees and ocean. No houses. There was a peace and tranquility about the house that belied its closeness to the road.
The house had been built by Becky and Bill with love, master craftsmanship and ecological care. It had gone through the direct hit of Hurricane George with only a scratch. It fit everything on the list except there was no red tile roof, and it was 8 years old instead of 5.
I immediately liked Becky. She felt like kin. She was a writer and an environmental advocate. She moved slowly and rhythmically and spoke thoughtfully. She was quiet, humorous and intuitive.
It took Becky and me a week to negotiate our agreement on the house. I well remember the night before I was to hand Becky the earnest money. I was staying at the Lazy Parrot and was awake most of the night: reviewing lists, endlessly refiguring finances. I was excited, but mostly I was scared. Was I making a mistake? What had I not thought of? If only I had a partner, someone to share the weight of the decision. I'd never bought a home on my own before.
The chasm between my comfort zone and what I was about to do was a big one. I had used all my considerable mental abilities trying to construct a 100% safe scenario. But to no avail. I was still plagued with dozens of "What if's?" A list, even a long one, of factual realities does not bridge over the river of fears to the other side. In my heart I knew that the leap across the chasm can't be made in the mind. Getting to a place of trust is not a mental journey. Faith is not created by logic. There is a point beyond which the power of the mind cannot take us. I was at that point. And at that point, one either clings to the safety of the known, or steps out into the unknown. I remembered a poem given to me by a friend years before when I was leaving to live in Moscow.
Faith
When you have come to the edge
of all the light you know,
and are ready to step into the darkness,
one of two things will happen.
You will find solid ground
under your feet,
or
you will be taught
how to fly.
The next morning I handed the check to Becky. It was the first irreversible step I had taken toward my new life. I flew back to Boulder, sold and packed my home, transferred ownership of my company and brought closure to all the other aspects of my life in Colorado - all in 5 weeks. The timing was tight. Definite breakdown at one point: I was in tearful hyper-stress by the moving van's last minute notice that their payment (several thousand dollars) needed to be in cash the next morning or they wouldn't come pack me out of my house. I had new owners moving in the following day. But there was a flow to most of it that felt like a continuing affirmation.
In the pre-dawn darkness of a snowy Christmas morning, December 25, 2000, carrying Maya in her cat box, I left Boulder. I touched down in San Juan near midnight. I was tired but excited about beginning this new phase in my life.
In Becky's last conversation with me, she had said, "You're living in grace, Phyllis." I asked her what she meant. She went on to tell me, "The morning we signed the agreement and you gave me the check, about an hour later, I got a phone call from a man in San Juan. He'd been interested in the house. He asked me what had been wrong with our phones. I said, 'Nothing. We've been getting calls just fine.' He said he'd been trying to call for three days and got recordings saying our line was out of service. He was ready to buy the house and was calling with an offer. I told him the house was sold."
"You were supposed to have this house, Phyllis. When I first met you in the driveway, a voice in my head said, 'She's the one.' Living in grace means that when you are doing the work you came to do, you can do no wrong. It's what the Buddhists call living your Dharma. When you are on your path, whatever happens to you resolves itself for your benefit. You are on your path."
Living your uniqueness is living in grace. Grace is the way the quantum Universe honors those who are contributing their uniqueness to the Whole. We can't make grace happen. It's an indirect outcome of the way we chose to live our life. The opposite of grace is force. Force has been the main verb in my vocabulary most of my life.
The first half of my life has been about constructing my world to give me security and status. At the height of my career as a rising star with the Solicitor's Office I was seeing a therapist twice a week. I have Dr. Jeff Raff, a Jungian counselor in Denver, to thank for setting me on my path to uniqueness. . . and preserving my sanity. I remember Jeff telling me that Carl Jung said that a person doesn't really become an individual until age forty. Until that time, we pattern ourselves after what our parents want or what society sells us under the Success brand.
It wasn't until after (or because of?) my first huge failure as a trial lawyer at age 35 that I even began to ask myself "How can I be happy?" instead of "How can I be successful?"
I spent my whole life making things happen that I wanted to have happen. And I was proud of my batting average. Not happy. Just proud of my résumé.
One day when my mother was visiting me in Moscow, she quietly said to me, "I've never understood why you struggle so." It was a shock to me that mother thought I struggled a lot. I thought I lived a very normal life. Don't you have to push to get things done? How am I going to get what I want unless I make it happen? Of course, all my efforts to 'make it happen' weren't deeply satisfying, even when 'it' did happen. And then some catastrophe (better known as chaos) would come along. I'd realize that my success neither kept my world stable nor made me happy.
But it wasn't until chaos theory and quantum that I began to understand why.
The joke is, the way you really do in the quantum world, is not to do. It is to be. And the better you be, the more you allow the world to do for you. Quantum is a set-up. The quantum life is one of co-creation. It's a partnership between you and "Whatever it is that's out there" to quote Einstein. Like any relationship, one partner can't do it all. Or if they do, the result is less than satisfactory for both parties.
Think about it. You can't possible do the exact action that will result in getting you what you want. You simply have no way of knowing all the twists and turns, the chain reactions that chaos will throw in your path between your starting point A and your desired outcome point Z. The general chaos of the quantum soup will always interfere.
Figure 1: You in the Quantum Soup
What you can do is be the vibration that will attract to you what you want. The object is to feel the experience of what you want to create. That feeling literally becomes a vibrational flag. You are planting the energetic flag. And that flag broadcasts. The clearer you feel/see/hear/think/taste what it is that you want, the stronger the flag broadcasts what it is that you want. That's why guided imagery, affirmations, and clear intention all work. Current research seems to indicate that this is how prayer works. Planting the flag is like striking middle C on the piano. It puts other similar tones in motion. The flag sends out the energetic message of what you want.
Figure 2: You Planting the Flag
Then, through the swirling energies around you, that energetic broadcast attracts other similar energies to you. Remember how entrainment and magnetic attraction work?
Understand that if you want to live your quantum uniqueness, then 'You' is a verb. As my wise friend Norma says, "Our 'things', our projects, our professions in life are just where we focus our actions. They're not really what we're about. What we're really about is discovering the bigger realm of who we are."
Your unique contribution strengthens the system. In return the system supports you. The world responds when you announce to it what is special about you, what you want, what you are committed to. This is exactly what Sir William Murray discovered when he made up his mind to form a Himalayan Expedition in the late l800's. It has become known as the Commitment quote.
Until one is committed
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves, too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would otherwise never have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance,
which no one could have dreamt would have come their way.
I think of commitment as planting the flag. I see Joan of Arc standing on the hilltop with the French Fleur de Lis flag whipping in the wind. She stood there alone, planted her flag in the ground and declared to the world what she stood for. And by golly, people who believed in the same thing rallied around her. Stating your unique commitment is planting the energetic flag.
A good marketer knows that when you want to sell something, it isn't just about finding the largest audience. It's about finding the best audience - those who are most likely to want your product. In the past, we've spent lots of time and money supporting Madison Avenue to do polls. We strategize based on market analyses. What if there was a way to use the 'magic' of the energetic network? One of the best energetic networks we now have is the Internet. An energetic network automatically selects your market, based on the unique vibration you've put out there-your USP, or Unique Selling Proposition.
Your USP is the one thing that people can remember about the product or experience a year later. In more personal terms, what one thing makes you unique as a person? What will someone remember about you a year after meeting you? In marketing, it's more popularly known as your niche. When the energetic network is vibrating with your USP, it's doing the work of Madison Avenue with less time and more efficiently. It culls out the deadbeats and clowns, and delivers to you the gems you want. The people who want you will find you based on their attraction to your uniqueness. They show up at your flag. It pulls into your path those 'unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance' that will support you. It isn't really magic. It's science. It's how energy works.
Besides, it's more fun and a lot easier to use energy to help you. Have you ever been at a critical point in a project where you know if you just push a little harder, it'll happen? For example, you're a realtor and the 'right' buyer has just called to say they'll be back into town to buy that ranch. The trouble is, you have non-refundable tickets for a trip you've promised yourself and your family that you will take. The prospective buyer will be in town while you're gone, of course. You're a single mom, and your commission would get your son through his first year in college. What do you do?
I have a close realtor friend who experiences this kind of conflict occasionally. It's familiar to most of us who are dedicated to our careers. When my friend faces these obvious conflicts between work and personal goals, she usually follows her commitment to herself to take the vacation. And, upon her return, the ranch sale takes place anyway - without her hands-on orchestration in the meantime. Why? How does it work?
Is it possible that the energetic flags that we plant continue to broadcast in our absence, lining up events that give us the results we want? Is it possible that if it's divine appointment for 'right' family to buy 'right' ranch, it will happen, with or without our continued presence? The realtor has done her part in skillfully matching prospective buyer and sale property. She has long ago 'done her work' in developing her intuition about what a family really needs even when they don't know what they want. She senses when a buyer and a home are made for each other. Her real work is done in making the match, and then, sometimes, getting out of the way. In addition to allowing the buyer-energy and property-energy to do their own dance, going on vacation is a perfect way to strengthen yourself. Leave the doing behind and be in the being for awhile.
Often the harder we push, the more elusive the goal becomes. Did you ever experience the Magic Eye phenomenon that was big in the US a decade ago? It is the computer-generated, random-dot stereogram that 'magically' becomes 3-dimensional IF you allow your eyes to perform certain feats. To get this unaided (no 3-D glasses) stereovision to work, you must be able to see without looking. It's definitely Zen. You have to let your eyes unfocus and get blurry and stare blankly at an object without looking at it. When your eyes arrive at the magic point, the object rises out of the flat 2 dimensional page into 3 dimensional life. It's an incredibly cool experience. And, it is hugely frustrating to Type A personalities who get to their goals by hard work and pushing.
Frank became enamored with Magic Eye books. We had them on our Executive Toys table in the workshops. He was delighted that they were the original work of Dr. Bela Julesz (You-lish), a fellow Bell Labs scientist. They had taken the world by storm. I loved watching the Type A's try to conquer the Magic Eye, doing exactly what I'd done when I first encountered it - trying to force it or solve it intellectually.
Magic Eye was introduced to Frank and me after a workshop in Nebraska by Jim Dutton. He was the training director at Nebraska Public Power District. Jim and Frank, having discovered that they had similar intelligence profiles, had become good buddies.
Jim couldn't wait to show Frank the latest toy he'd discovered in a mall shop. Jim said it had taken him days to 'see 3-D'. Therefore, I told myself silently, I was going to see it within minutes. An hour later, Jim and Frank drug me out of the store in a serious state of disbelief and anger. I couldn't 'make' the %^!_)@+)$*$&*#!!!! thing work. We left the shop with a huge framed picture of dots that was supposed to be a dinosaur. That dinosaur didn't rise up out of the swamp for me for weeks. But it was a wild experience when it did! I still love doing the Magic Eye things. (For those of you who missed the Magic Eye and are up for a quantum exercise, order the book SuperStereogram by David Burder. It's on Amazon for about $10. It's edited by Seiji Haribuchi and published by Cadence books.)
My point here is that it is our way of being in the world, not our doing, that matters (no pun intended), quantumly speaking. And the Magic Eye was a test that most of us doers failed until we could simply relax, allow our eyes to make their own adjustment, and let another reality come to us. It is a reality that happens only by letting go. It happens by moving into a Theta type of state where we allow the brain to self-organize into a new pattern that can accommodate the new energy-rich input. The key word here is 'allow'. That type of release as a way of doing/being is very foreign to the us, the achievers of the industrialized left-brained world.
And, after all, it is the left brain and the doers that have gotten us to where we are: the most powerful and richest nation in perhaps all of history. Pretty good success story. So what's wrong with being a left-brained doer? Nothing. Unless it doesn't work anymore. Remember that nature is only concerned with what works and what doesn't, not with 'right' and 'wrong'.
Professor Peter Senge is the Director of the Organizational Learning Center at the Sloan School of Management at MIT and author of The Fifth Discipline (http://www.infed.org/thinkers/senge.htm). He has been named a 'Strategist of the Century' by the Journal of Business Strategy, and is one of 24 men and women who have 'had the greatest impact on the way we conduct business today'. He has studied how firms and organizations develop adaptive capabilities. He might be someone pretty good at spotting a big system trend. Peter Senge says,
"It is the characteristics
that have gotten us to where we are
that now threaten to kill us."
So if left-brained-making-it-happen is what got us here and is now threatening to kill us, what might be the adaptive capability we need to develop now? If chaos can always mess up our best-laid plans, what do we do? How do we be in the chaos so our being ends up productive? What might be a Quantum response for the Newtonian fix we find ourselves in?
Bucky Fuller has the best answer to this that I've found. He pondered the question of how to be productively in the world, and came up with the scientific explanation of the way reality worked for him. He called it 'honey-money'. More scientifically, it's called orthogonality or the precessional effect. Orthogonal means something that happens at right angles to something else. Precession is when the direction of movement ends up being at a right angle from the direction that the force was applied, sort of like a spinning top.
In very simple terms and loosely translated, Bucky said that Universe supports you, indirectly, based on you doing your unique work in the world. He observed this in nature and found it to be a generalized principle. Secondly, he found that Universe supports you IF you are doing what needs to be done. So the issue becomes determining what needs to be done as well as what you want to do and have the unique talent to do.
Bucky described precession as the effect of bodies in motion on other bodies in motion. He called this principle honey-money. He used the metaphor of bees and flowers to explain how honey-money works for humans.
In the picture below, Mr. Bee wants nectar to make honey. He finds a flower, crawls inside, does his nectar collecting dance. He 'accidentally' gets dusted with pollen. He goes on to the next flower where he does the same dance. This time he shakes off some of the pollen. The bee's motion is at 90 degrees to the flower. In the process of dancing around through the flowers sucking nectar, he 'accidentally' cross-pollinates the field of flowers. This results in the continued growth of flowers. This 'accident' in turn, gives him a secure long term future source of honey, and also gives a valuable service to nature.
Figure 4: Bucky Fuller's Honey-Money
Bucky says, "Humans as honey-money seeking bees, do many of nature's required tasks, only inadvertently. Our individually programmed survival instincts result in that which supports us, but indirectly and from a different direction than the one we put our energy toward." (italics added)
You can read Bucky's own words for a fuller explanation -- no pun intended -- of the precessional effect in the appendix following this chapter's Summary. Bucky isn't easy to read. He said he'd rather be not understood than misunderstood. He goes to great and wordy lengths to get his idea across - often creating new words in the process. Despite that, reading Bucky's own words is a good way to get to know this amazing man. (You can get his Critical Path on amazon.com) If reading Bucky's own words is as hard for you as it is for me, go to the very readable Cliff Notes on Bucky: Buy Lloyd Sieden's book Buckminster Fuller's Universe: His Life and Work, with a great forward by Norman Cousins. (available on amazon.com) You can get in touch with Lloyd at sieden@qwest.net.
Bucky experimented with and came to rely on these 'side effects' of an action rather than on direct actions. As true humanist, Bucky's goal was not wealth, awards or fame, though he ended up with all of them. His goal was to create 'artifacts for humanity'. Those are inventions to raise the standard of living for all people. Bucky would find something that he felt needed to be done which no one else was doing that he had the ability to do. He would then do that job with the faith that he, his project and his family would be supported if his venture was in fact needed. Fuller seldom concerned himself with direct support, such as payment for inventing a particular artifact. Instead, he put his focus on the project, knowing that "seemingly indirect support would come from a regenerative Universe which always supports required actions." He found that support generally appeared only at the last instant and from unexpected sources. In my life, I have seen the same thing. I call it gifts from the J.I.T. (just in time) Universe. Nerve-racking for we humans who are engrained with long-term planning.
As we contribute our unique gifts to the world at large (the big system), it is strengthened. Remember? Diversity enhances systems. You get to follow your bliss, be your special self, and get support doing it. This is what Marsha Sinetar says in her book Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow: Discovering Your Right Livelihood. (Available on Amazon.com) My favorite chapter in this practical and inspirational book is "Work as Love, Work as Devotion." The more naturally passionate you are about your work, the stronger are the energetic vibrations you put into the world. The stronger those vibrations, the more nature will respond with support. It can't help it. It's a law of energy.
Bucky was a master at being his unique self, contributing his unique gifts and allowing Universe to support him. From this perspective, it is not just your joy, it is your job in the world to be your unique self.
One of my favorite Startrek scenes is from the movie The First Contact. It's where Jean Luc Picard gives us a glimpse of one of our possible futures. In the movie, Jean Luc of the 24th Century is having a conversation with Lily from Earth's year 2063, thanks to a time warp. Lily is in awe of the amount of Titanium in the ship.
Lily: How big is this ship?
Picard: There are 24 decks. Almost 700 meters long.
Lily: It took me six months to scrounge up enough Titanium just to build a four-meter cockpit! How much did this thing cost?!
Picard: The economics of the future are somewhat different. You see, money doesn't exist in the 24th Century.
Lily: No money? You mean you don't get paid!
Picard: The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.
If indeed quantum is inviting us to a future where our societies flourish based on our contributions of our best selves, what are the baby steps we begin to take now? How can we learn to be the bee in the honey-money scenario? How can we learn to co-create with quantum grace in our lives instead of forcing our way in the world? Do we hang out like hippies; go 'back to the land' and raise organic fruits and nuts; dance around to Bobbi McFerrin's Don't Worry! Be Happy??? How do we find that balance far from equilibrium where quantum grace kicks in to support us and our work?
Being yourself is the force that makes things happen. The stronger you are about you, the more Universe shows up with support.
Getting support in the honey-money game comes from being the bee. And if you're conscious about the process like Bucky was, it's more fun. The following baby steps are what my experiments have taught me. They are offered to you as my experience. The quantum dance is a balance of the quiet-receptive-intentional-internal and the attentive-responsive-active-external. You can do them and see if they work for you. See if you feel "Providence move, too."
Step # 1 of 7 Steps to Beeing
1. Know your uniqueness. Socrates said, "Know Thyself." Figure out what is special about you. There's only one of you, and you're here to be that one. The big system, Divine Oneness nurtures you as you nurture It by contributing the special stuff you are made of. Knowing your purpose here is critical to your happiness.
When I came home after three years in Russia, I was a basket case. I was depressed and exhausted in every way: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The excitement and challenge of treading water 36 hours a day for 3 years had taken its toll. Back home in Boulder in the shelter of my sister's home, I went into an emotional cave for months. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone other than my sister and nephew. My bedroom window looked out over a meadow and lake to the foothills. I would lay there for hours just looking out the window. I was dead inside. I remember feeling like I would never feel joy again in my life. I could breathe, eat and sleep and walk - and that was about it.
I was also quietly terrified about my future. I knew I could never again be a lawyer. The thought of dressing in a suit and walking into corporate mentality literally nauseated me. I would get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I even saw a legal office. I also knew I could never return to being a classroom teacher again. Both of my previous careers were out of the question. What kind of job could I possibly do? I only sunk further into despair when I thought about any job that might be available nearby. I remember swearing to myself that I would never again prostitute myself to a paycheck. I would find work I honestly loved, or . . . or what? I didn't know. I wasn't ready to die, but there absolutely was no alternative to doing work that my heart would treasure. And in the back of my mind there was always the soft ticking of my diminishing savings account, fueling the quiet panic.
Then, one day I had a conversation with someone where I felt alive. It was a small spark, but in my darkness it felt big. What had we been talking about that made me feel alive? Then another conversation. Then an article in the paper caught my interest. I decided to start a list. I began writing down everything that made a blip on the screen for me. As I began to come back to life, I wrote down every positive, life-giving event:
What subjects interested me?
Who did I like to talk to?
What did I enjoy reading about?
What places did I like to go to?
When I felt myself being animated, what was I talking about?
What lit my fire?
Every time there was a flicker, I put it on my list. I remember looking at my list one day and thinking to myself, "This doesn't look like a job description to me." But I remember that I felt humor about that, not despair.
Shortly after that, one morning in September, I awoke and looked out over the lake. I knew that I was ready to come out of the cave. After breakfast, I sat on my bed and had a long meditation. I had my list in front of me. I said to Divine Oneness, "I'm ready to be in the world again. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm able to do. But here on this list is what I want to do. I need help. Please help me find work that will make my heart sing."
Two hours later the phone rang. It was Gail Hoag, a casual acquaintance through mutual friends that had worked with me in Moscow. She said, "I've gotten excited about an idea that's just come to me. I want to know if you'd be interested in working on it with me?" Gail and I ended up forming Changing Pathways, Inc. to do training on organizational change. During that time, we exchanged workshops with BCAL, the Boulder Center of Accelerative Learning owned by a man named Frank Clement. My BCAL workshop changed my life. I remember being in the workshop and being so charged with excitement that I couldn't stay in my seat. It was like every cell in my body was yelling "Yes!" My swinging compass needle had locked on true north. I had found the material that I wanted to work with for life. I did not know that I had also found the man who would be my life partner. A few months later, I joined BCAL. The rest, so to speak, is history. I had set foot on the path. I knew I was home.
"You were born unique.
Don't die a copy."
-- Anonymous
Here are some exercises to help you begin defining your uniqueness. Get your journal, find a quiet corner and explore the bigger picture of who you are.
1. What have you always wanted to do?
2. If you won the lottery, what would you do with your days?
3. What can you get so involved in that you lose track of time?
4. What have you always wanted to study?
5. If you could spend a year as an apprentice with someone living, dead or fictional, who would that be?
6. What are your all-time favorite movies? What characters did you feel most like? Why?
7. What five books have had the strongest impact on you? What were they about?
8. Spend some time online and browse career choice sites. Take some of the free online assessment tests. Here are some suggestions to get you started: www.jobweb.com/Career_Development/choice.htm (has lots of assessment tools and links) www.jobprofiles.org/index.htm www.careerplanning.about.com/library/blcareers.htm www.careerbuilder.com
9. Ask your friends and family to give you 5 to 10 descriptive words for you. Then ask them, "If you could see me starring in another career role, what would it be?"
10. Read Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow.
Step # 2 of 7 Steps to Beeing
2. Be you. Ask yourself, "Am I really doing my thing? Am I contributing my uniqueness to the Whole? Am I engaged with life in a way that adds the specialness of who I am? Or am I busy 'earning a living' doing something to merely survive? Am I afraid to change? Am I afraid to leave what I think gives me security?"
This is a story of Al Lemieux. I first met Al when he did our workshop. He was an Assistant Principal in an excellent school system. He had a respectable track record with some fairly prestigious schools. He brought teachers from his system to the workshops, and I could tell he was loved and respected. Al is one of the most widely read and experienced educators I know. Whenever a new philosophy, program, or educator arrives on the scene, Al goes into absorption mode. He researches and does his best to actually experience the new concept. He then makes his own objective analysis about its effectiveness and validity. He is free and diverse about what he synthesizes into his own practice. He is virtually a walking encyclopedia of education for others.
Al came to Frank's 65th birthday party. He made a toast to Frank that went something like this. "I've wanted to change what I'm doing for some time now. I've wanted to step out of traditional education and begin pursuing some independent paths. I've made the decision to do that, and I want you to know that it's your fault!"
Al was taking a courageous move to follow his bliss. He was in a system at a time when many would have "just hung on until retirement." He was married and raising his second family. Al is a man who takes his obligations seriously, and he had financial responsibilities to two families. He and DeAnna had taken time to plan how the transition would happen, but there was no immediate replacement for the security of his regular paycheck from the school district. Why did he do it?
Al said, "You just have to get out of the box, or you continue to do the same thing over and over. We just weren't getting anywhere under the existing way of doing things. When I got it about whole brain learning, that you can get three times the amount of learning, I knew I had to be somewhere that I could teach that way. If a place didn't exist, then I'd have to create one. I knew I had to go out there and find and be with people who were doing it a different way."
"If you never do it, take that step out of the box, then you face the pain of not being true to yourself. I've taken those kinds of risks before. I know that one of the things I love and do well is bringing people into a place of positive consensus. I've stepped out in my life and done that, gotten people's trust in the process and achieved some victories. Yes, being out there like that involves a risk - going against the grain, speaking out when you see injustice, taking the long view instead of going for immediate gratification. It can be hard. But the really dangerous risk is the one of not doing it - of not staying true to who you are."
Being true to who you are may mean choosing a new reality for yourself: a new employer, yourself as your employer, new friends, new surroundings. You can choose a new reality from all the possibilities that exist right now for you in the quantum soup. It's important to be compassionate with yourself at the same time you are courageous about the change you are calling in to your life. Realize that you have had the job, or whatever it is you're changing, because it has served you. Until now. Avoid judgment and avoid going into victim mentality. Simply accept that it has worked for you in the past, and now you are ready to move on to something more fulfilling. Start making your choices about now.
Step # 3 of 7 Steps to Beeing
3. Be clear about what you want. Remember the most basic of energy photons are conscious: If you ask for a wave, you get a wave. If you ask for a particle you get a particle. Conscious energy responds to what you ask for, so be clear.
When I was in kindergarten in Manifestation School, one of the first things I learned was: You get what you ask for so be clear about what you want. Remember that the clerk at Universal Fulfillment Center who's filling your order follows directions and doesn't make assumptions. If the clerk gets an order for candles, you'll get candles. So when 12 bright red thin tapers arrive, you can't wail, "But I wanted 12 yellow short column candles!!" If color and shape are important, ya gotta be specific. On the other hand, if color and shape aren't important, and you like to be surprised, then leave those categories open. I find that the less you load your request with trivial details, the faster your request will produce results.
Use both your right and left brain for this. Your left brain will give you the words and concepts. It will help you put together all the information you got in Step #1. It will help you form ideas about possible directions you might go, places you might search.
Then bring in your right brain. Make your ideas multi-sensory. Remember, the strength of the response you get out of the quantum soup depends on the vividness of the message you send out. Clear and intense thoughts broadcast highly magnetic messages. Put your order out to Universe detailed with sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings. For a refresher, go back to Chapter 3 where I talk about Norma as my interior designer (in "Choice", just after Loom of Life).
Then your whole brain gives the message to your whole body to get your whole system involved in the ordering process. This is important. One of the most amazing and powerful insights about the mind that Frank taught me is:
The mind cannot tell the difference between
a real and a vividly imagined experience.
What this means is that if you feed the mind a vividly imagined experience, the body accepts it as real. This is the basis of the Olympic Training Method where you train in your mind as much as you train on the actual course. You've seen athletes with their eyes closed moving their bodies as if going through the course before the race. They've not only trained hard physically, they've trained hard mentally. They've practiced seeing themselves doing the course perfectly. They've felt themselves making every maneuver of their sport. They've constantly fed their mind the information of how it's done perfectly. They've seen themselves wining and felt the elation of the gold medal around their neck. They've literally trained their bodies by training their minds.
This concept of using the mind to train the physical body has also been applied to retraining the consciousness, or the psyche. It's called psycho-cybernetics. It was developed by the physician Dr. Maxwell Maltz, who reported the astonishing results of his work in the book Psycho-Cybernetics. It's a big word that simply means the goal-seeking behavior of the brain and nervous system. (Cybernetics is the Greek word for 'pilot'.) His book is dedicated to techniques that help you consciously change your self-images so you will then automatically make the changes you want in your life. Dr. Maltz used the brain's ability to create vivid self-images that the consciousness then accepts as reality.
Explained in terms of the chaos model, you change the outcome by choosing the ERI you put into your system. Practice the feelings (energetic patterns) that you want in your life. "Fake it 'til you make it" works with emotions. An interesting study that was done on actors proves this is true. Simply put, the study showed that while actors were playing happy, energetic, optimistic roles, their bodies were measurably stronger, healthier, and more robust. When those same actors played roles that were angry, negative, depressed, hostile, pessimistic, their bodies were measurably weaker, more susceptible to disease. We can choose our feelings. The feelings we choose determine the energetic vibrations of our body. The law of attraction then determines what we draw into our life.
So, you ask Universe for what you want by feeling the feelings of already having it. Those feelings are the energetic order that you place with the Universal Fulfillment Center. Your vivid imagination literally helps program the energetic responses of Universe.
Simple steps to placing your order using affirming energy:
Start your request with the words "I am. . ."
Use the present tense. Action words end in -ing. "I am receiving x, y, z."
Make your request positive. Avoid 'not' and negative descriptions.
Keep it simple and brief.
Use clear, specific words.
Include vivid feeling words, like "enthusiastically", "joyfully", etc.
Your request can only affect you. You can't do "Make my son behave!" You can do "I am creating a fun, understanding and loving relationship with my son." You can't create "John is falling in love with me." You can create, "I am confident because I am attracting exactly the kind of relationship I want."
Step # 4 of 7 Steps to Beeing
4. ASK. This seems obvious, but it's an important step that's often overlooked. You have to say the magic words: "I need help. Please help me with this."
Asking is like putting the order in the mailbox. It's the final part of sending it out. The Universal Fulfillment Center can't fill an order that it doesn't have.
This part is really easy. You simply say. "I need help. Please help me with this." It announces to the quantum soup that you are open to input.
Step # 5 of 7 Steps to Beeing
5. Stay Open. If you have programmed expectations about what the response will look like, you may overlook the answer to your order when it comes.
My favorite story that illustrates this is about George, a man of great faith. A flood came and George knew God would save him. George was on his roof and the waters were rising. His neighbor floated by on a door and held his hand out for George to climb on. George said, "No, God will save me." Then city workers came by in a rowboat and told George to get in. "No. I don't need to. God will save me." As the waters were engulfing his body, a Coast Guard helicopter lowered him a rope. He said "No. God will save me."
Waters rise. George drowns. When George gets to the Gates, he's pretty miffed. He demands of St. Peter, "Why didn't God save me?" St. Peter just shook his head and said, "We did. We tried three times." But George was so sure that he knew what God's saving him was going to look like that he missed the real thing. God's response didn't look like what he thought it should look like. You may spend your time looking for a stairway to drop from the clouds and miss a perfectly good door, boat or helicopter.
A quantum universe has millions of possibilities and will respond to you from its treasure. The response may not fit your expectations. But it will fill the need.
Step # 6 of 7 Steps to Beeing
6. Receive. When the solution comes, claim it. Reach out and embrace it. Take some action that confirms it as a response you've asked for. If it's an idea you receive that solves a problem, verbally say "Bingo! Yes!" Shine the spotlight of your acknowledgment on the answer you've gotten.
Quite often at this point I feel delighted. I'm frequently amazed at the solutions of Divine Oneness. And just as often, I'm entertained by how humorous the response is.
Some time after Frank's death, the grieving and life's responsibilities were weighing me down. I was asking for more lightness in my life. One night I specifically asked to have a playful, funny dream. When I awoke the next morning, I was smiling. Just before waking up, Frank had appeared in my dream, dressed as Picasso's tall skinny Don Quixote. It was a very short cameo appearance. No story line. Simply Frank standing there as Don Quixote. But his kneecaps were layers of huge hubcaps. . . that pulsed. They sprang way out, then snapped back. There was a twinkle in Don Frank's eyes that said, "Bet you can't do that with your kneecaps!" I rolled out of bed and did high 5's with Universe. That dream still makes me smile.
Remember that quantum reality may include the dream world and other altered realities like meditations, visions. Many scientists have gotten solutions to their problems from these other quantum realities. It was Einstein's ride on a light beam that gave him the insight for his Theory of Relativity. Nicoli Tesla received the Tesla Coil in a very specific vision.
Receive your answers from wherever they come, and affirm that your request has been answered.
Step # 7 of 7 Steps to Beeing
7. Be grateful and celebrate! Imagine that you've taken the time and care to choose a unique gift for someone you love. You surprise them with this special something that is perfect for them. How would you feel if they take it and walk away? Chances are you wouldn't again soon take your time and effort to try to please them. But you'll want to keep them on your gift list if they show their delight and you feel their gratitude.
My experience with Divine Oneness is like that. Acknowledging the marvelous solutions of Universe seems to prime the pump for continual abundant responses.
While these seven steps may not be rules of the game, they are some of the protocol that seems to be honored by quantum reality.
At the core of quantum is co-creativity. We say, "This is Special Me. This is what I am. This is what I want." Quantum reality responds with "Great! Very cool expansion of the Whole you are! Will this help you? How about this? . . . or this? . . . or this??" Quantum reality responds to our assertion of our uniqueness by supplying the goods.
Universe continually extends itself to us as partners in creation. As we enter in to the opportunity, we'll learn how to play.
I. Amazing Grace A. The beginning: New Year's Day, the new millennium 2000 B. Story of move to Puerto Rico C. When you're doing your unique work, things work out for your good. D. 'Grace' is the way the quantum world honors you when you are giving You.
II. Quantum Grace A. Find and contribute your uniqueness - simply be. B. The way you do in the quantum world is to be . . . be the energetic vibration that will attract what you need. C. Plant the Flag: use the vibrational broadcasting system to attract what you want. D. 'You' as a verb. Norma's wisdom: Our real work is discovering a bigger realm of who we are. E. Your unique contribution strengthens the system and the system in return supports you: i. William Murray's Commitment quote; ii. The Internet as our first tool of energetic-uniqueness-marketing-matching. Put out your U.S.P. on the World Wide Web; iii. The realtor's sale despite being on vacation. F. Be and allow (Don't push and do) i. Magic Eye; ii. Energetic attraction works on the principle of allowing; iii. Pushing gets in the way of allowing; iv. Peter Senge quote . . . If doing has gotten us here, can being get us out?
III. Honey-money (or How to be, productively) A. Bucky's processional effect: your support from Universe proceeds indirectly from your work in the world. B. Bucky was a master at being his unique self and allowing Universe to support him: found what he could do that wasn't being done. C. See Seiden's biography Buckminster Fuller's Universe: His Life and Work. D. Bucky's fuller explanation in Appendix A following this Summary. E. Startrek video scene with Jean-Luc Picard and Lily, "Titanium". What will society look like when we have moved beyond money as the direct motivation?
IV. 7 Steps to Beeing A. 1. Discover your uniqueness B. 2. Be you. C. 3. Get clarity on what you want D. 4. Ask E. 5. Stay open F. 6. Receive G. 7. Celebrate with gratitude
Appendix A
Excerpt from
"Self-Disciplines of Buckminster Fuller"
a chapter in Critical Path
by R. Buckminster Fuller
The big question remained: How do you obtain the money to live with and to acquire the materials and tools with which to work?
The answer was "precession." What precession is, and why it was the answer, requires some explaining.
When we pull away from one another the opposite rigid-disk ends of a flexible, water-filled rubber cylinder, the middle part of the overall cylinder contracts in a concentric series of circular planes of diminishing radius perpendicular (at right angles) to the line of our pulling.
Figure # 5A
When we push toward one another on the two opposite ends of the same flexible, water-filled, rubber, rigid-disk-ended cylinder, the center of the cylinder swells maximally outward in a circular plane perpendicular (at right angles) to the line of our pushing together.
Figure # 5B
When we drop a stone in the water, a circular wave is generated that moves outwardly in a plane perpendicular (at right angles) to the line of stone-dropping - the outwardly expanding circular wave generates (at ninety degrees) a vertical wave that in turn generates an additional horizontally and outwardly expanding wave, and so on.
Figure # 6
All these right-angle effects are precessional effects. Precession is the effect of bodies in motion on other bodies in motion. The Sun and Earth are both in motion. Despite the 180-degree gravitational pull of the in-motion Sun upon the in-motion Earth, precession makes Earth orbit around the Sun in a direction that is at ninety degrees - i.e., at a right angle - to the direction of the Sun's gravitational pull upon Earth.
Figure # 7
The successful regeneration of life growth on our planet Earth is ecologically accomplished always and only as the precessional - right angled - "side effect" of the biological species' chromosomically programmed individual-survival preoccupations - the honeybees are chromosomically programmed to enter the flower blossoms in search of honey. Seemingly inadvertently (but realistically-precessionally) this occasions the bee's bumbling tail's becoming dusted with pollen (at ninety degrees to each bee's linear axis and flight path), whereafter the bee's further bumbling entries into other flowers inadvertently dusts off, pollenizes, and cross-fertilizes those flowers at right angles (precessionally) to the bee's operational axis - so, too, do all the mobile creatures of Earth cross-fertilize all the different rooted botanicals in one of another precessional (right-angled),inadvertent way.
Humans, as honey-money-seeking bees, do many of nature's required tasks only inadvertently. They initially produce swords with metal-forging-developed capability, which capability is later used to make steel into farm plows. Humans - in politically organized, group-fear-mandated acquisition of weaponry - have inadvertently developed so-much-more-performance-with-so-much-less material, effort, and time investment per each technological task accomplished as now inadvertently to have established a level of technological capability which, if applied exclusively to peaceful purposes, can provide a sustainable high standard of living for all humanity, which accomplished fact makes war and all weaponry obsolete. Furthermore, all of this potential has happened only because of the at-ninety-degrees-realized generalized technology and science "side effects" or "fall-out" inadvertently discovered as special case manifest of the scientifically generalized principle of precession.
From Critical Path by R. Buckminster Fuller
(Available on amazon.com)
